The following item is edited from a letter posted by shayla last month in our Eyes Apart Strabismus Support group. It’s hard for some people to accept being referred to as having “lazy eyes.” We know that strabismus eyes work much harder than normal eyes. Shayla used this term about herself with confidence, and she offers the tips below to help us all be more confident with our drifting eyes:
I think you can be socially confident with lazy eyes. I know I am. It’s actually a joke in my family how quickly I can strike up a conversation. I had a great example in my Mom, who also had alternating exotropia for close to forty years before she had surgery.
The only place she wasn’t confident was sports and my dad made sure that I learned how to adjust instead of just avoiding sports. I did debate and theatre in high school and just finished a play’s run in community theatre this week. I just just tell people to look at my right eye if they keep looking over their shoulder! I knew my eyes were off but wasn’t really diagnosed until 17.
It’s funny because today I go in to have surgery. My husband was asking me did I think it would make me more outgoing? My sis was like “hello! girl already talks to complete strangers everywhere we go!
My advice:
- Preempt strangers who are looking at you. A quick explanation will stop the weird looks most of the time.
- Family/Friends: If their joking really bothers you, say something! They may have no idea you feel the way you do.
- Pictures: You have to ask the person taking the picture to help you out with this. You look away from the camera and then right before they snap the picture look back at the camera. Your eyes will appear straight in the picture (but it takes a couple of times to get the timing down so be patient). I’ve done this with lots of pictures and it seems to work. Or turn at an angle to the camera so you are not face forward to the camera. Models do it, so why can’t we?
All these things have one thing in common: You have to be pro-active and be ready and willing to talk about the condition and your feelings about it. If you aren’t comfortable with yourself, other people won’t be. I make a joke of it: “My name is shayla and pay no attention to that left eye wandering around the room!” Find out what your comfort level is and maybe try it out on friends and family first.
If you don’t know if it’s wandering, watch people for non verbal cues like for example: looking behind them like they think you are talking to someone else usually means eyes are wandering. My best friend will notice if I switch eyes before I realize it myself.
I hope these will work for you.They’ve worked for me for 29 years and counting..(only hours left though!)
–used by permission from shayla
[Lois' note: I realize many of you did not have parents or family who supported you as shayla's family did. Perhaps they even pulled you down. But rather than regret what we didn't have as we grew up, why not work on some of the recommendations shayla offers to make things better now?]
Photo credit: Mikas Vitkauskas
I love your idea of my name is ……, and never mind that left eye wandering around the room, but I have two lazy eyes and never know which one is wandering around the room!
My family was mostly supportive, but I was never allowed to use my fingers to keep my place while reading.
Please come visit my page at myspace.
Karen
Keep strong!!!!!
As young as 5 yeas old, I knew already that I had a very poor vision. My condition is a mixture of lazy eyes, near sighted, astigmatism and semi color blind.
People always stare at me or laugh or pity me when my face almost touches the computer screen. When I was in school, i always failed my subject coz I copied the wrong notes. Now I’m in my mid 30′s, its getting worst and it frustrates me when I try to find a cure and it seems that it doesn’t have any. I just always pray to God for miracle that one day I will be able to see clearly the beauty of His creation
I also suffer from lazy eye. I have had it since I was 3years old, I am now 31. I have good days and bad days. Some days I can hold my head up and talk to people but most days all I do is look down so that I don’t have to make eye conact. I hate being this way. It has stopped me from being who and what I want to be. I have never used it as a excuse for anything though. I am in college and I am not wanting to take Public Speaking because of my eyes. However, I have stood up and done a power point presentation. ( Very Hard) I just wished I could be normal and not a freak of nature!!
I’ve had strabismus my whole life and have had three eye surgeries at age 1,16,& 26. My eyes basically look normal until I read alot or look at a computer screen, then my right eye goes in, and my double vision gets worse. That’s when I wear my prisms. I feel like a prisoner to my eyes; like they control everything I do. It would be so great to freely see with no effort at all, but this is the way God made me ,so I guess I have to accept it. I’m 32, and happily married with two kids. I thank God they don’t have strabismus.
I have two friends with Strabismus and we have actually never had a discussion about it. This may sound stupid, but when their eyes start wandering, I’m not sure where to look? I don’t know how they are literally seeing me, so I try to focus on the eye that is not moving, but then i feel that it’s rude or wrong…I just want to be sure to not make them uncomfortable. Sometimes, the moving of the eye seems to come out of nowhere, so it takes me a second to adjust. Any suggestions?
I’ve had a lazy eye all my life, when i was little i was bullied and i think this affected my confidence in my early teens [i'm 19 now]. Since turning sixteen, people grew up and just became used to it. I’m an outgoing person so it doesn’t particularly bother me, although i do have a fringe that covers an eye to make it less obvious.
Day to day living though, i think the only problems i really have is catching a ball. I. Just. Can’t.
I remember thinking when i was little that i’d never get a boyfriend because of it, oh naive me. The reality is, once you get to know a person you don’t even notice their faults. I’m actually having stalker problems at the moment.
Have faith people, it’s not all doom and gloom with a lazy eye, at least you have eyes!!!
have had stabbismus all my life had a few operations when under 5.but because there is no sight in it still turns into the left(right eye) i m 40 now and i would go for surgery without a doubt if anything could be done. i have seen a consultant but he didnt offer much hope as there is no sight in the eye.have a fringe over the eye and i wear tinted glasses and find it hard meeting neew people.i would love to be able to walk into a room head high with out having people stare or laugh at you.
Lori – re: your questions.
First – how brave and thoughtful of you to ask. It’s much easier to ‘cope’ with the difficulties of this disorder (I hesitate to call it a disease) when friends care.
If one of your friend’s eyes turns or wanders, you’re doing the right thing by giving your attention/focusing your gaze on the stable eye. If both ofyour friend’s eyes turn or wander, you could tactfully (not in the moment) ask if they have a dominant eye. That’s likelythe eye you should settle your own gaze on.
i’ve had a lazy eye since i was a baby. i got surgery when i was ten. im 14 now and it seems like the surgery didnt do to much. i know i have to get at least 2 more. some times i hate going to school because everydays different. some days i get laughed and stared at and other days i dont. i hate looking down and trying to hind my face. i wish i looked normal but i still love myself. it is also hard to have confidence
I am 46 yrs old and just found this site and the Yahoo group. I have had strabismus all my life. It is the first time I have ever “surfed the net” wondering if there is a support group for strabismus. It is funny, I found the site while searching to see if there are any golfers out there with my eye problem who play well (I’m just starting out in my advanced age and I don’t).
I think the original poster’s advice is great. I wish I could just go back throughout my life and just end the wierd looks and curiosity by telling people up front “Yes, I have a wandering eye, otherwise I am perfectly normal, any questions?” instead of not making eye contact and looking away.
This has been a very tough journey, it is comforting to hear from others going through it. Fortunately the digital age has allowed people with this eye disorder to communicate and learn from one another.
For the younger folks out there: If you have to carry this into adulthood I can tell you that the social aspect becomes become easier when you get older. The teenage years are tough but attitude is everything and don’t let this beat you down.
Hello all,
I am really happy that this site exists… So I can come closer to people with the same condition.
I am 30. I have had a Wet Macular Degeneration problem with my right eye and this led to almost blindness. On the other eye I have 16 of myopia… Very tough condition that may eventually lead to legal blindness…
I have lived with strabismus (due to the blind eye) for 15 years of my life.
I was always very sad and looked down. Then came depression out of this.
Now, I am on meds for depression and going well. But I am very sad, that this has caused me so much pain.
As for the women, they just don’t want to date someone like me (although I am not bad looking). When they see this problem, they prefer being friends. Maybe they are afraid of my genes! LOL Who knows…
This condition is very unattractive so I don’t blame women. I just ask “why me?”.
Be well…
Hi All,
Thanks so much for the site, and for everyone’s thoughts. It’s a bit of a revelation for me to read all your experiences, many of which resonate for me.
Alex, I’m really wishing all the best for you. Just remember we women become far less superficial as we grow up into our 30′s, so I’m hoping for you that you will start to meet lovely women who will love your eyes as much as you
I was bullied at school, and I became utterly terrified of other adolescents. But fortunately for me I didn’t realise why (had no idea what my wandering eyes lookded like!) It wasn’t til I was an adult that I finally realised what the nickname “Dead Eye” and “Dead Eye Socket” was all about.
As an adult, I’m mostly blissfully ignorant, but I get reminded a lot now that I’m getting older (38). I’m finding it’s virtually impossible to start a conversation with a stranger – they always appear very unsettled, and try to look away and ignore me. I’m thinking of getting a pretty eye patch, so that at least people don’t see the errant eye!
I was fascinated to read that people have grown fringes. I’ve always preferred a very long fringe dropping over my face, now I realise why! People close to me have always assumed I was hiding from the world
I have trouble conversing face to face with close friends and family, even my hubby. I prefer chatting in the dark, or over the phone. I find it gives me a headache to focus on *both* of a person’s eyes at once. I can generally only have a conversation with one of my eyes and one of their eyes! I know the other person can only engage with one of my eyes. But I’m puzzled why I find it so hard to look at both their eyes – they’re not cross-eyed afteral! Does anyone else have this problem?
Best wishes all!
Katie,
I do the same thing and usually can only concentrate on one eye. I think the issue is with only only “good” eye, I can only focus on one thing at a time. Focusing on two eyes with one eye is difficult!
To everyone: I am 23 years old and have exotropia in my right eye. I am close to blind in my weaker eye but have better vision in my left eye. Like many here I have felt depressed, rejected, and afraid of making eye contact, especially in group settings when I can see everyone else doing it.
However, there are some days where I don’t even think about it. There are some days where it doesn’t cross my mind, and I am absolutely no fear looking someone straight in the eye (to the best of my ability). Sometimes people look away, or look confused, or, yes, look over their shoulder, but I have gotten used to it. Anyway, like I was saying, the days where I don’t think about my strabimus are a thousand times better than the days where I think about it and become depressed.
So maybe the best way to deal with this is to not think about it, to forget that you have it as much as you can, and to go about your life. Works for to the me anyway, until I remember it.
Thanks for everyone’s thoughts.
i just want to know how to rid off this low self confident and start loving my self and accepting who i am and believe in my self, at least im improving i am in university now and trying to be more social but when i walk on streets people keep stare at me so i just put my head down.
some times i don’t even think about it and make eye contact with no fear but some times i just feel down.
when i feel down i see the sequent is growing.
advice: if u feel good about your self you will look good.
when im feeling good i don’t even notice the sequent even if it is there.even sometimes i forget that i have it but when people keep staring at me i just feel that i wanna to disappear and sometimes i hear them talking about my eye
this is my first time that i share my feelings
thank you
Ya know what… I have spent 28 years getting more and more fed up with having to explain it to people and going ‘why me?’… I’m tired of that.
It’s something I will have to do for the rest of my life so I might as well get used to it and make it fun instead of depressing and a chore.
This is the first time I have looked up a support group for this condition. I have had it for all of my 23 years and have avoided talking about it with people at all costs. Actually I have butterflies in my stomach just from writing this. Living with strabismus has been extremely difficult. My left eye turns out and although I seem to have good days and bad days, it is constantly on my mind whenever I have a social encounter. I think about it many times throughout the day and have wished a million times that I was never born with it. If only I could have had the straight eyes that sooooo many people have and unknowingly take for granted. I am a nursing student and I have faced new challenges with my strabismus as I have begun to enter into relationships with my patients. It is pretty hard to be supportive, caring, and empathetic if you can’t look at someone. Sometimes though, I will focus so hard on looking at someone and making a conscious effort to do so that I will realize that I haven’t even been listening to what they have been saying. I am interested in surgery but I don’t think the cost will be covered because it is generally thought to be a cosmetic surgery. It is not cosmetic! The psychological torment of strabismus affects people on all levels of the determinants of health. It is not just about wanting to look good, its about wanting that bit of normalcy that most people have. Thank you all for listening, this has been amazing to finally ‘talk’ about my experience.
I’, a sufferer of double vision due to a “muscle surgery”( on right eye ), which happened on May 26,2006. I’m a 42 year young guy, since the surgery I see constant double vision, I resorted to pirate patching, but those patches are to hot, irritating, and uncomfortable….. I’ve been applying black tape on right lens and omitting left lens all together, when I go out people do a triple take, they have no clue as to why I’d wear such a strange configuration, sadly both of my eyes are 20-20 which means w/o this configuration double vision ( confusing ) will be prominent. Some people ask and I try to explain it, for the most part I don’t let it bother me, I live my life to the best of my ability……..
I am late 20′s with a lazy eye and i am finally looking up surgery to combat my condition. I tried being strong by trying to ignore it but that only works until you enter into a social situation. I went handing out resumes last week and I could tell by their body language they weren’t to comfortable dealing with me and on my way out i heard the receptionist whisper to another employee, “did you see his eyes?, what the heck was that” ..my confidence fell right through the floor upon hearing their ignorant remarks..all i know is i can kiss my resume reaching HR goodbye..I can’t even get a job because of this damn burden seriously FML…
Hi everyone..
Wow reading all these stories.. I know now that I’m not the only one. I’ve never meet someone with Exotropia before! I’m the only one in my family, back in school and now in university too!!!
I feel like the best yrs of my life had been wasted due to my condition..
I remember my childhood consisted of going from one optometrist to another.. many suggested to my parents that I have an operation at a young age which would make it much more of a success than having it at an older age.. but for some reason my parents never really agreed on it.. It’s a question I wonder everyday of my life, what if i did have an operation at a young age? will my eye be normal now? I’d hate to blame my parents for my horrible life and low self esteem now, but I cant help but think what if….
anyhow I did have an operation at the age 17. It didnt look very successful at first, since my eye was still wandering around.. but after around 6 months my eye became more straight and when am actually looking in the mirror or in pictures.. my eyes look normal.. However this is staring to change now.. 2 years after the operation and the eye is getting lazy again and just doesnt wana LOOK STRAIGHT! its very frustrating.. the double image is horrible.. In lecture i have to put my head down because when i look into far away distances the double image is much stronger.. and when i get this double vision i know that my eye is way out of where it should be..
This is the first time in the 19 years of MY LIFE that I’ve ever opened up on this. even with my parents. I try avoiding talking to my best friends about it.. all though i got PLENTY of comments when i was a child.. and during most of my teenage years.. and honesty I remember every single comment I got..
ex: “hey can u please look the other way cuz u’re talking to her and it looks like your talking to me”
“you have crazy eyes”
“is there something wrong with ur eyes”
“cross eyes”
etc….
I really want to get another surgery as soon as possible.. even if it takes having a surgery every two years, because i really cant take it..
I’m already a very self conscious and sensitive person. in addition to my exotropia things are much worse for me .. i feel like i’ll never find true love.. or get married or have kids because of this……
cheers guys.. i feel much better talking about this to people who actually understand me..
I want to thank everybody for sharing their pain/my pain. I had lived with this condition for 38years of my life and had been ostracised a lot and at times thought of as mentally retarded.In film school students made fun out of me whenever I looked at a computer screen. Even the teacher seemed to enjoy the joke about me. As the only African in class no one stoodup for me,so I became depressed and lost that hardfought confidence that had brought me to filmschool in the first place. I droppedout and went to a dialysis technician training coarse where things got even worse because I told the teaching doctor that I was overcoming something to be there, and that I was attempting to prove to myself that I was still worth of something and capable of dreaming again.Never expected that he will be the first to cross his eyes when I was not looking and make fun of me to the delight of others. To the surprise of many I passed his class with a B+, and am still looking for a job in a field where my condition will definitely be an issue. I shall not givein thou, nor tire for the journey I had travelled in these 38years of my life had been filled with chsllenges.
Hey Guys, It is good to read all your experiences. I think you are all amazing people to keep striving despite the condition. I suffer from esotropia, it really kills my confidence. Sometimes I will get ready to go out and be about to go out the door when I look in the mirror and see my eye and feel sick. My family think I am being a drama queen who wants attention whenever I say am not in the mood to do something. To everyone I would say try and get treatment – there are a ton of different options out there, save up if it isn’t free -straight looking eyes are priceless. Also, keep positive -yes, a divergent eye will make people backchat you, make fun of you to your face, will put off potential partners, may lower your employment prospects etc etc. But it is actually doing you a favour as it will mean your life is filled with genuine people who really care about you and also means you are a much stronger person. love and peace.
I am glad to have found this support group where i can share my story. I have been involved in an eye accident at the age of 10. Suffice to say that i lost my cornea and crystalin (spelling?). Since then i have been through 3 different surgeries, each of them lasting for two to three hours. The last surgery i had was for an artifficial cornea implant. Everything went well and the doctors were pleased with the outcome. I would never regain my full vision in the right eye again because of the heavy bruising it took…it left me with a scar right in the middle and two aditional scars from the surgeries. In the following months and years i would go at least one time a year for eye checks and new glasses if needed. The thing is that i developed strabismus, maybe due to the fact that i mostly use my healthy eye to see and perhaps an effect from those surgeries. I am 25 years old and the strabismus thing bothers me so much, i dont have much confidence and being a shy person isnt helping a bit. i was thinking of doing the aesthetic surgery to correct the problem but unfortunately due to the scars i have aswell as the positioning of the implanted cornea it is not recommended as it has a high risk of doing more damage. At the last check the doctor said that the optic nerve went white and that i wont be seeing better than i currently am(which is like trying to see through a heavy fog). I have days when i forget about my condition but most of the times when in a social situation i keep looking away and not making eye contact. My friends know of my condition and dont have a problem with it. I feel lonely most times because i havent been able to find a girl that likes me for who i am and i tend to think that marriage is a loong way away from me.I am feeling depressed every time i think about it and the loneliness i feel is sometimes unbearable even though i go out with my friends and know that my family loves me.
I am glad however that i didnt lose my entire eye and i hope that the future will bring me brighter days. Hope never dies .
Much love to you all.
I have strabismus and im 19. I can’t get a job because of it. When I went into a store to ask if they hiring they say no. The next week my friend who works at that store said they hired two new people. I then knew that I was rejected because of my eyes. I hate my life because strabismus. Why? I was bullied, teased, and rejected because of it. I can’t take nice pictures without looking retarded. I feel like God is just some mean bully who finds it amusing to torture me with this disease. Sometimes I have good days but the next morning that mirror always reminds me of how much of a freak I am. I have suicidal thoughts almost everynight. The only reason I’m not dead is because too afraid to kill myself
I was born with esotropia. I had surgery at age 4 and then again at 22. Although there was Improvement I’m still miserable. Most days I would rather be dead. I’m so exhausted from the constant worry and hatred if my eyes. Is like to try another surgery but am afraid of an over correction and then dealing with exotropia. All day long I dread looking at others especially from certain angles. Looking I. The mirror makes me want to vomit. I am so sorry to everyone also dealing with this. I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. I feel held back and lonely due to my eyes and I just want to live a normal life. I can’t trick myself into being comfortable with it. Each day seems so helpless and like such a struggle. I can never tell if people notice or not after my recent surgery but I don’t see how they could. When I look a d think about myself it is all I know. If anyone needs a friend or someone to talk to please email me rochellexroberts@gmail.com
Rochelle, because of your own struggle, you are willing to help others. You reach out and invite someone else who needs a friend and talk to you.
That’s a great start. I was writing a longer response to you, but decided to edit it and post it to the top of the blog (www.eyesapart.com) instead. The permalink is: http://www.eyesapart.com/2010/07/22/lazy-eye-muscles-revisit-a-challenge-from-jfk-take-the-dare/
Keep reaching out those who are also struggling, and it will lighten your load also!
Lois
In reponse to Katie’s post- I have the same trouble when having a conversation with someone. It is very hard to look at them for a long time. I’ve never seemed to master this. I’m glad to hear that it’s not just me. This website is so helpful:)
I’m so glad you find it helpful, Angela. It’s always a pleasure to hear others say what it means to them. Bless you!
Lois, is there an email address to ask you a question, rather than posting a comment?
Angela, there is an email link at the bottom of every page of the site. Please note that I struggle to keep up with email, and cannot respond to all. I encourage folks to pose their requests for strabismus help in the comments areas of the site, or to join our eamil group (see top right corner of every page for that info).
But you may write to me using the link at the bottom of this page.
Best!
Lois
I am 19 and all my life I have been picked on, excluded from any group, treated like dirt all because of this turn in one eye. I have been called horrible names and I have been asked annoying questions such as:
-Are you looking at me?
-Crazy eyes
-Crossed eyes
-Cocked eyed
-Retard
And the one I HATE the most. I was called this one at two different highschools, and that is
GOOGLE!
It hurts my feelings. And people don’t seem to care that I have them. After all of the rubbish, bullying and rejection I have been left with nothing but low self esteem, no confidence, depression and a social phobia. I hate the people who have done this to me. I wish they had strabismus really bad and then they can see what it is like. What it is like to go to doctors, poking at their eyes and following the doctors finger with their eyes, looking through glass measurement things, only to find that they can’t fix their condition as it is too bad. I went through that! I tell everyone the story and they still give me grief!
Now I am seeking help for my emotional state. I have a wonderful family and a loving understanding boyfriend who actually cares. And awesome friends who accept me. And that is the support I need to grow and get better. Not some stupid surgery to gain acceptance from idiots who don’t accept me.
Haley, bless you! I’m sorry for what you have been through. Yet you are one of the fortunate ones. You have a loving family, an understanding boyfriend, and awesome friends. You are right, this support will help you grow and get better.
The surgery might help straighten your eyes, but I think you are right that getting past this emotionally is much more relevant than getting past it physically. For some, the surgery is helpful in the emotional recovery. But for others, it doesn’t change the emotional need. You have shown that you are determined to get past this and carry on with life. You’ve got what it takes do it!
One of the steps the one helping you with emotions will probably talk to you about is forgiving and letting go of the anger. Those people have tormented you enough. Don’t hang onto that load anymore. It is time to turn them lose and allow yourself to heal. It will take effort to do that, but you are worth the effort!
Feel free to post back and let us know how you are doing. You may also find our Eyes Apart Strabismus Support group at Yahoo helpful. See the top right corner of this and every page of this blog for more details.
Best to you!
Lois
HELLO ALL OF YOU.. I HAVE LIVED WITH THIS CONDITION ALL MY LIFE..SO I FEEL EACH OF YOUR pains…people who dont understand or live with this condition, thinks oh just get over it and move on.. lol they just dont know, not that simple..because we are judged on eye contact in this country.. but god bless you all and stay encouraged.
stay strong hayley.. it helps to talk with others who truly understand.
To my brothers and sisters with strabismus I come to you with good news that I finally had my eyes straightenedup. But it is still hard for me to look people in the eye. I somehow unconsciously think that i am still not focused on them. I hope with time that my confidence will be restored.
Keep the faith family you’re not alone.
hello how are youhow olde were you when you did your surgery.
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Thank you Lois for sharing Shyla’s comments and advice. Like everybody else who has commented, I have had strabismus (alternating) all my life. 2 surgeries were done on me at 2 years old and I even did some time in vision therapy. It never left. The docs say that my brain is hard-wired now and I will never be able to use both eyes at the same time.
As you all can relate, grade school, jr high, and high school were terrible because I was the guy who had “crazy eyes.” After high school, I spent some time in the military, got married, had a son, and now am in medical school. Despite all of this, I am still terrified in social situations. Social phobia, no self-confidence, no self-esteem, fear of the reaction of others to my eyes, flashbacks from high school – I feel like my eyes are broken, but now (even worse) my spirit is broken.
It is amazing to read all the comments here from people who have gone through the same thing that I have. Too bad there is not a support groug (that I know of) in Phoenix – I would love to be able to get to know other people who have “crazy eyes” – I would love to meet someone who has the same condition, but still has an intact spirit.
Hello all…
glad to find you all..
Im 34 Indonesian male and have strabismus since birth.
and poorly, to keep my eyes straight I tilt my head. To turn my head tilt has already my spontaneous reflex without I realize it. And as I always tilt my head, my face grow asymetric. if you want to know how horrible it is, you can googling Ocular Torticollis.
Of course, there were times I feel so depressed about it. There was times I cried for my friends calling me “strange” etc.
But, since my childhood I prefer not to focus on my strabismus and headtilt.
I know I have something better than my friends. Im very good in playing Kite, Soccer (eventhough I often felt down when running since my headtilt make me unbalance). I also very good in Math.
I join Martial Art club so nobody wants to have problem with me or I’d kick their butt (haha).
I completed my Master Degree and now Im a Senior Manager in one of the Biggest Mutinational Company in the World.
The point of my stroy is : Dont you focus on your weakness, focuss on your strenght.
Look at me, Im strabismus, I have headtilt that makes me look strange among people. But I prefer to focus to develop my strength.
And here I am.
cheers
Good for you, Moslem! Thank you for sharing your story. You have the right attitude, and are an inspiration for many who will read your encouraging words. Lois
I am 21 years old and had a terrible eye injury 12 years ago. With years I developed a squint and only recently realized that there was no permanent cure. It’s not as simple as Shayla makes it appear……I always wanted to join the government service and now I know that I stand no chance because of my squint. Wherever I go I have to keep scratching my forehead so that no one sees my bad eye. It is not any less unfortunate that I can’t find in God any solace either. Running away from people, sitting in my room writing speeches, avoiding any get-to-gathers! It’s life for me now……success, gods and true love? none of them make this suffering any easier.
I am 17 years old and I’ve had a lazy eye for about 1 year now. It started one morning when I was 15 I remember waking up early and my left eye slightly lost vision it really didn’t bother me at all until about a year later. I started to feel and believe that I was crosseyed I always looked at a reflection of my eyes in mirrors, my phone, windows anything it kind of became obssessive and I thought I had lazy eyes but no one seemed to notice. I finally went to go see an eye doctor two weeks later and he kept on telling me that I didn’t have lazy eyes but I felt like I still saw different. About a few days later I woke up and my vision was normal again it was a miracle I never woke up more happy in my life I was 16 a junior in high-school then.. I changed completely I was looking at people directly in the eyes just like before but it was better I was so thankful that I had good eyes again. A month later I was in art class and my left eye starts to twitch and it was a strange feeling it happened for about ten minutes randomly and remember praying to God that my eyes wouldn’t go bad but they did and it started to get worse I had good and bad days with my vision. my left eye is slightly looking inward but I have decent vision with it and I have really good vision with my right. I learned to deal with it somewhat it still bothers me when someone looks away but if someone doesnt like it i dont really care no one messes with me at school because I always had alot of friends but one time some idiot pissed me off because I asked him for the time and he said are you looking at me and he dam well knew I was so I got up and started punching him in the face he fell and I just kept on swinging at his face I broke his nose and loosened acouple of his teeth my knuckles had teeth marks on them and they wwere bleeding. I got expelled and I actually felt bad for him after what I did I don’t like to fight unless for fun with friends even though I can and I’m still good at it. I started to get depressed so I began to smoke weed daily I liked it since I was 15 and it helped me alot with my mood. I have a strong willpower and have always controlled my smoking I only use more than needed on weekends when I don’t have anything important to do… I also take a two week or longer break from smoking every other month. I got my G.E.D now and I’m going to join the military(army) when I turn 18. Honestly if it wasn’t for weed that helped me deal or ignore my problems through this last year I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. Recently my dad got remarried and I have a baby sister now and I want to make her proud having me as a brother and i want to be there for her. My mom isn’t proud of me because I smoke and my eyes bother her I can tell because she looks away every time I look in her eyes but she supports and loves me.. My dad is always happy to see me and loves me no matter what my eyes don’t bother him at all and I’m very grateful to have him in my life but they just don’t understand me or what its like to grow up in bad city where there’s alot of drugs and gangs its hard to trust people but family and really close friends. I always had to watch my back because my friends are gang related so it always got me into trouble at school and on the streets but they don’t do it for a color or respect we are just like a big family of younger and older people from bad homes nobody messes with us because we all have eachothers back like a family is suppose to. I don’t get into trouble any more unless I have to and when I turn 18 I’m moving on but I will always love and stay in touch with my friends and family that helped me get through life so far.. I hope one day in the soon future that I have my own house and business so if Im ever gone I will have something to leave for my sister maybe even kids I might even try surgery after a few years in the military you never know what they might have by then
I accidentally submitted it before I finished because I did it from my phone. Sorry I wrote so much and didn’t make paragraphs and thanks for reading just remember that there are people that are less fortunate than us and we are only as happy as we make ourselves. I hope you all find peace with yourselves and others and never let it get in the way of your goals in life and if it does keep on trying you will feel better if you try than if you sit around and do nothing.
“By Warith hajj on May 25, 2010 | Reply
I have strabismus and im 19. I can’t get a job because of it. When I went into a store to ask if they hiring they say no. The next week my friend who works at that store said they hired two new people. I then knew that I was rejected because of my eyes”
Hi everyone
I’m Mae from somewhere in Asia. I’m almost 26 now and yes, just like the rest of you, I’ve had to deal with Strabismus since when I was wee young. I get called names a lot pretty much my whole life. And yes, like like most of you, I never dated anyone, never received flowers or cards, love messages, etc. which by now, isn’t a big deal for me anymore. I’d probably end a spinster for all I care. Honestly, having a strabismus have never been that much of a big deal for me, until I started looking for a job and it really dawned on me that most, if not all, employers prefer one with a “20/20″ vision. *shrugs*
and WARITH HAJJ, I hear you! I know it’s a tad late reply in response to your comment but I’m keeping my finger crossed that you’ll be able to read this one of these days
I felt the need to quote some of what you said because that happened to me as well – a lot of times, actually…
I saw this bakeshop once looking for a crew so I went on and got all the courage to passed my resume. They gave me then this exam, just some basic computations, they let me stayed there for a while, while them checking it out. And showed me afterward that I only got few mistakes(probably two), to my surprised. I felt pretty confident that they’d hire me because they said they were going to call or text me. But to my dismay they didn’t even texted me. When I passed by the shop again, the ad was already taken down,which means they obviously have hired someone else.
Having a job has always been a big deal – at least to me, ’cause I’ve already lost both my parents at a pretty young age so I have myself alone to support my needs and spare me another day. But with my eye condition, I’d probably be jobless forever. Whatever….
I just want you to realize that you’re all beautiful people. People will make you feel otherwise, but just like everyone else, you also deserve to have something better; i.e. better social relationship, better job, better lives.
You’re all included in my prayers. I may never be that religious but I’ve always believed there’s some immeasurable power in prayer.
If like me, you’re afflicted with Strabismus and want someone for you to talk to about it, or just share whatever it is that’s in your minnd or just need someone you can let out your thoughts and listen to your problems, you can reach me at
cielofritzie@yahoo.com or
twilightofme@yahoo.com
God bless
I have strabismus im 17 years old
Ive had a surgery when i was about 7 years old, and Ive also had surgery when I was 12 . lol
but Im getting surgery again..
Having this makes me so depressed, I secretly cry every night ,,,
I hate it when the wind blows on my face because then I cant hide my other eye with my hair.
Im a very social person, got alot of friends, and yes ive had many boys chase me,, many think I have the perfect life, many gives me coments on how beautiful I am,, but still they dont know my inner pain.
It hurts so much, I dont like expressing my feelings… but yea since this is the internett why not hehe
but How can i get rid of this inner pain, normal people dont get my pain, I would do anything to have normal eyes, I would rather drown in 1 hours and then get normal eyes, than to live with these ugly eyes..
I dont have low self confidence, but still the pain of the eyes takes over my confidence at times..
I dont like going to school beacuse i think what is the point of going if my eyes are ruined..
And YES, i HATE MY FATHER because I got these UGLY eyes from him,,,, IT GOES on his side many of them have these FUGLY eyes,,,, DAMN why did my mother have to marry him ,,
IM SO DEPRESSED BUT PEOPLE THINK THE OPISITE..
I HATE MY LIFE, OHHH GOOD PLEASE GIVE ME NORMAL EYES
Dina, I wish I could make your eyes better. Mine too, while we are at it. I’m hoping the surgery will help you.
Please continue your schooling. You are so much more than your eyes. You are that young woman your many friends know and appreciate regardless of her eyes. Just because our eyes turn does not mean they are ruined. It just means we have an opportunity to overcome this challenge and become better, stronger, as we learn to face it and move forward.
I inherited my eye drift from my father also. But my dad is no more responsible for my eyes than I am responsible for my offspring’s eyes. Keeping that hatred inside will eat away at your life more than the pain of your eyes even. Forgive any wrong your father may have done you and let it go. It isn’t worth holding onto if it destroys who you are.
I find strength in tough times through my relationship with God. Perhaps that would help you too.
You might be helped by joining our Eyes Appart email support group, where you will find many others with eyes just like yours. See:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/EyesApart/
Wishing you the best,
Lois
Hi, im 21 years old, I was feeling very down today, but after reading all these comments, I feel better knowing that im not the only one suffering from strabismus and its negative impacts on social confidence. Growing up, I was very confident, never cared what about what anyone thought, ignored peoples comments about my eyes and loved myself for who I was. But from the age of 18 onwards, I started to realize people were never looking at me, they would always look away and I would have very uncomfortable forced conversations. I became very self aware of my eyes, and started to focus on eye contact and peoples reactions up to the point to where I was not listening to what the person I was talking to was saying. I feel like such an awkward person to talk to at times. I am going to see a specialist and hopefully get surgery to correct my eyes done, then hopefully I can start to make eye contact and listen and start to self express like I used to. I believe loving yourself will make others love you. Its just atm, im just not loving myself… Oh well gota stay positive, at least I can see =)
Hi everyone, I’ve had strabismus (exotropia) and lazy eye since birth.. It is a daily struggle.. I don’t look anyone in their eyes for more than a second or 2. When I am talking to people, they will look behind them, as if I’m talking to someone else, and no one is there, so it makes me feel so stupid.. even though it shouldn’t. Lately my eyes are constantly on my mind.. I think they get worse the older I get (I’m 22 now) my wandering eye is more noticeable now, especially when I’m tired or if I’ve been drinking.. When people compliment me, I feel like they feel they need to, because my eye is messed up. I can’t just believe someone when they say I’m pretty… Someone recently told me that someone else had made a comment about me saying “Serenity would be really pretty if she did something about her eye” so I figure that’s what most people think.. Just curious.. I’ve been having headaches a lot lately, generally on the right side of my head (the side my bad eye is on) does anyone else get headaches like this? I figure my eye strain is catching up to me now..? Well, I just thought I would share a little of my story.. Please respond
Hey everyone:) so pleased to of found this site! I’ve felt I was the only one with this condition, had it since I was born and its always made me feel v low about myself, the weird looks from people like I’m some stupid little girl really irritate me, its rude and insensitive and annoys me a lot!!! I always felt the odd one out at school, I used to get called names like ‘google eyes’ and ‘alien’ and ‘the one with the weird eye’ I used to get so down and upset, and extremely shy. I’m having surgery on it in august finally, which I’m looking forward to! My boyfriend loves my eyes as they are and so do my family and close friends, but I cannot cope having no confidence and not having photos taken cos of the way my eyes look, its just is so depressing!! Great to share this with people who understand
Serenity,
Hi
I just wanna know first how long have you already been eye patching? About your question, I don’t think I have ever experienced that. I had it though (headaches) during the very first few days I started eye patching that started by the way January,just this year. 
I actually wish I had started earlier because I feel like doing it for months now kind of have had so.me little improvements on my right eye which is my weaker eye. Now I know I just have to do it more often ’cause I don’t really do it on a regular basis. How about your eye patching? And do you know other eye exercises aside from eye patching? I hope you read this.
By the way, I don’t think I want to turn this into a chat thread. lol I hope we could chat somewhere like maybe facebook or yahoo messenger (better on YM i think
If you like, you can reach me at twilightofme@yahoo.com 
thanks 